Re: Goodbyeish for now 12padams

12padams · Post by **12padams** » Sat Oct 06, 2012 10:52 pm

You may have noticed my recent lack of activity on the forums... I've tried to fight it but I'm really struggling to and just can't anymore... I've lost interest in the phase. I'd better explain what's caused this:

It was October 2011, I had lost all hope of a normal life as I had terrible back problems and RSI which prevented me from finishing year 12 at school (I finished year 11 but could not complete the last year of school). I needed an escape from real life as my semi disabled body removed all joy I had in life. So... The phase became my life goal and actually quite a secretive dangerous one. I had given up on life... I wanted to live the rest of it in the phase.

It was either created by your mind or "something else". I hoped it was something else and started making plans and writing books based on my initial phase entry's and beyond. A person named Tony was telling me all these amazing things about me and a group of 20 people recieving powers which would occur on the 11th of September 2012 and that motivated me even more to keep up the phase... But it never happened and my desire to enter the phase completely disappeared.

The slight desire I have for entering the phase now is to meet "The Somebody". He is a guy between the the age of 15-25 who lives in unit 102 of my phase apartment building. I have spoken to him over the phone intercom but never face to face... I really wanna meet him because He seems so separate from me... Truly like another person within my own mind or maybe he's something else. I don't know but I would like to see him.

The reason I don't like the phase anymore is due to the upkeep I have locked myself into. Logging my sleep and writing down my dreams takes up so much of my time. Back when I started I didn't have a full time job but now I've gone to Tafe to get my Certificate 3 in children's services qualification, worked as a casual childcare worker and worked my way up to a full time position in the tiny tots room at only about children freshwater.

I work 8.5 hours per day Monday to Friday and spend an extra hour or so preparing each day to go there and back (shower, driving, changing cloths ect...) and by the end of the day I am exhausted and just want to relax and spend some time doing things I like... Sorry but no, I have to write up my dreams. Right now writing dreams is pointless because by doing so my desire to enter the phase lowers since it "is too much work for how little I get out of it"

My RSI has faded... My back pain is disappearing from the physiotherapy so life isn't so bad anymore that I need the phase to escape it. Up keeping the phase (writing down my dreams and performing the sleep simulation technique which I don't even have time for anymore) now is just taking away time from my free time and just becoming something I dread everyday when I wake up or after work. It's not getting me anywhere with the phase because its just so annoying that my phase desire drops. I need a break...

So for now I will take a break for the rest of this year. No more writing... Just living my life as it is now to the fullest

Goodbye everyone and good luck with the phase

Post by **Summerlander** » Sat Oct 06, 2012 11:46 pm

Who's gonna help me with the spambots?

12padams · Post by **12padams** » Sat Oct 06, 2012 11:58 pm

Summerlander wrote: Who's gonna help me with the spambots?

Lol that's all you care about?

I'm sure someone else will come along. I just need to remove things from my life now that no longer bring me joy since I've given myself too many jobs.
Good luck Summerlander... I'm off for now

Jeff · Post by **Jeff** » Sun Oct 07, 2012 2:13 am

Philip,
I understand the burnout from working,from maintaining dream logs and such,believe me. I work at a busy Trauma center and deal with quite alot of stress in addition to raising my daughter.I also have my father to worry about with his health problems.Filling out detailed log books and computer posts are the last thing I feel like doing most days....so I don't...

After a break you may want to reconsider your phase practice with a different set of expectations and level of discipline on order to avoid burnout. You don't need to log so much man.Just remember your dreams and phases well when you wake.Write down the most interesting ones or significant accomplishments and don't make it a chore.Take a break and then enjoy the phase again when you're ready.If new goals and motivations don't come to you,you can just let the phase decide after deepening.You may want to work on your pain in the phase too...

Goodluck....

TheOnerous · Post by **TheOnerous** » Sun Oct 07, 2012 7:11 am

Yes, I agree with Jeff. Changing your expectations and phase-related workload is an option. You don't need to make any big all-or-nothing decision. Maybe just have a break and see where you end up. Maybe it's time to move on, or maybe the phase will be an occasional hobby you come back to now and then and you let your level of enthusiasm decide your effort? My interest in the phase fluctuates all the time. At the moment I'm thinking about the phase lots and my focus is very disciplined (by my standards anyway, hah

) but sometimes other stuff takes my full attention and the phase is at the back of my mind (I still get phase experiences when I am not trying for them though).

If you decide that it's time to end then I wish you the best. I'm really pleased to hear your back and RSI problems are improving. Thanks for all your help, support and enthusiasm on my phase journey.

Post by **Summerlander** » Mon Oct 08, 2012 3:25 pm

Continue to use the phase. Just don't write so much. Or only do it when you find the time. But I know where you are coming from. The phase state makes you think a hell of a lot - especially when you are writing a book and theorising. Maybe the Gamma brainwaves boost our imagination. But before you quit the phase state of the mind, remember how beneficial it can be (not to mention that the impossible becomes possible there and hence the reason why so many are in love with it). We have a short life so we might as well try to be conscious during our sleep whenever we can. Be alive and look alive. We have plenty of time to rest in death.

Whatever you decide, though, and you may have made your peace with whatever decision... best of luck, my friend!
ps. To me, you will always be a phaser at heart.

Luna · Post by **Luna** » Wed Oct 17, 2012 3:26 am

wow, must say.... please don't take offence but I don't know how else to say it....life doesn't have to be this melodramatic!! Just relax. Sounds to me like you put too much pressure on yourself. It doesn't have to be like that....not just in regards to the phase but EVERYTHING. You worked so hard to become a prominent member of this forum and even became a mod and not you've just left. So confused.

Hope you enjoy whatever it is that will make you happy.

Post by **Summerlander** » Sun Nov 11, 2012 1:46 am

I plan to incorporate the Phase into my life forever.

Me too. How can you not want to practice this for life? It prolongs your conscious life and makes it more interesting. It is undoubtedly life-enriching. Just the other day I spoke to my neighbour about it when she saw one of my art pieces inspired by it. She got all scared and told me to stop talking about it because she has experienced sleep paralysis several times and an alien has come for her. I was just thinking how much she could use her episodes to her advantage seen as she seems involuntarily prone to the phase. I wanted to encourage her to cultivate some sort of practice as many out there would give anything to be in her shoes. She didn't want to know. What a waste.

12padams · Post by **12padams** » Mon Nov 19, 2012 5:45 am

How can you not want to practice this for life? It prolongs your conscious life and makes it more interesting. It is undoubtedly life-enriching

Hi, I'm not back, I just came by to check into this thread.

I stopped because to enter the phase I had to focus on the phase and only the phase in my life to be able to enter it. Basically I spend a day working then want time to relax from work. I don't want to go home, do a page of writing (trust me, I need to write to be able to enter the phase, it's just my thing) then spend the night deferring and losing sleep through my sleep simulation technique or other phase entry techniques. Then even after all that only have time to actually attempt phase entry rarely throughout the week while writing my normal dreams.

For me the only fun part of all this is being in the phase, something that happens very briefly after a lot of planning and preparation. I have to make my physical life more dull to enjoy short bursts of the phase which becomes nothing more than a memory of an event once it is over. Why spend hours preparing for minutes of enjoyment when you can spend minutes to produce hours of real life enjoyment?

Every time I was about to quit the phase something else happened to encourage me to continue. Someone would leave a positive comment on my experiences, my blog would be pinned, my youtube videos of phase experiences would become popular, I become a moderator, the phase seems to provide telepathic links, I meet "the somebody" (a person I met in the phase), the phase would leak into the physical world providing me with physical powers such as time travel to make the world right but... I leave it all behind when it just doesn't work out the way I wanted it to becoming more work than its worth.

The phase should be an enhancement to your life, not a replacement! I've got work, full time work, 42.5 hours per week in a childcare centre, observing the development of children while trying to balance caring for them and writing their development. Preparing for phase entry and maintaining dream recall unfortunately is also work... Although its work I prefer than childcare it doesn't put a roof over my head. Childcare does however and I only want one source of work in my life so I choose childcare.

If Michael opened a research centre near Sydney where multiple people did a job similar to me, entering the phase, making and testing methods, actually hooked themselves up to sleep monitoring machines, performed and planned phase experiments and so on and it was a professional paid job then I would drop my current job at the drop of a hat and start working there to instantly continue my phase journey at a massively improved rate with better tools, results and success.

Once I retire I'll continue with the phase but that's 45 years away! So really I am more than willing to continue but I don't want it to be an "on the side" thing anymore. I want to investigate the phase professionally with my full potential and with others that I can physically work with. So don't worry, I'll be back in 45 years or when an OBE research centre opens in Sydney, whatever comes first.

I dream to be a phase professional only if that becomes a real job. Teaching lessons in a classroom, creating and writing phase books, doing research in a lab with consciousness tracking instruments, personally going to people's houses for private lessons if they wish... But not if childcare is still in my life! I had no work in my life when I started with the phase, then I had Tafe which slowed me down then I started working as a casual childcare worker and now I'm a full time semi-room leader for the tiny tots...

Other work took up my phase time, now it's gone until the phase becomes a paid profession or I retire. I hope you all understand so I'll disappear again into my physical life.. Unless of course I see something special opening in Sydney, Australia or even better... Manly/Queenscliff, Australia.

Bye again